listserv: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/wmds

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At a gathering of BDSM people who are new to each other, a common practice is to go around the room asking, "What's your story"? In other words, what was the personal journey you had to take to arrive at this place? In this first column, I'll concentrate instead on the business aspect of my search.

For everyone who wonders, "Jeez, would I ever be able to be a group leader, let alone form a group" - I was an unlikely candidate, myself. Having only discovered the BDSM world on-line in late 1997, and attending my first munch in the summer of 1998 as a rank amateur, I was nobody's idea of a veteran player. I was living in Salem, NH (about 35 miles NW of Boston) and was able to attend what was - at the time - the only publicly listed munch in New Hampshire (at the Pheasant Lane Mall in Nashua). I was quite nervous, but I found the red-and-black balloons in the food court easily. Estelle, a board member of the Boston Dungeon Society (BDS) ran this event back then, and greeted me as if I were a long-lost friend. No one cared that I was new, either - I found a home.

But in the summer of 1999, my company was sold and relocated far away. My job search eventually landed a spot at Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center, on the VT/NH border. Several of the munch "regulars" simply said, "Ed, this is your chance to start your own group in the Upper Valley". It wasn't my wish, but the alternative - giving up the Scene - was not an option. So, besides Estelle, the fellow at BDS who maintains the list of munches around New England (SubStephen) gave me lots of practical advice and emphasized, "Start slowly".

This I did in the spring of 2000 - eventually beginning a munch in West Lebanon in April of that year. As it turned out, other groups throughout New Hampshire (in Keene, Manchester, Windham, etc.) wound up starting around the same time. But this I would not find out until later - for all the world, I thought I was a pioneer.

Besides trying to enlist the help of on-line listings, I placed print ads in the NH Classified Guide and Seven Days (which take alternative ads). A few men asked, "Hey, what kinda uncollared females ya got"? They were, though, the exception - most people were eager to have an outlet, just only too willing to "to let George do it" as far as starting one.

And while it has taken time, it has been rewarding. Comments like "wow, I didn't think anybody in this area was into this", or "nice to know I'm not a freak" are common. Even if inexperienced, if you bring enough good people together, then good things will happen. What you must provide are ambition, work and lots-and-lots of patience. Besides a good feeling, I know I'm a better player as a result of doing this work. So, most likely, will you.