He will occasionally give me physical pain, just because he can. He enjoys knowing that my body exists for his pleasure, and he does use me sometimes with a lighthearted attitude. For example, he likes to allow me to mentally go back to my regular life for a little while, reading or working or something. Then he will call me back to submission with just a touch. He likes to watch me change from my regular person self to a slave - he likes to watch my internal struggle, and particularly when I don’t want to. He says it is so much more satisfying to make me submit when I’d much rather do something else. So often he will wait until I am immersed in something else before causing me stop and spread my legs without warning. A few times he has done this when we were in the middle of an argument, as ourselves - not in D/s mode. The last time he decided the argument had gone far enough, and ordered me to go down on him - even before I’d made my full point! To be forced into such a subservient position at a time when I am not in the mood is true submission. I feel great humiliation and respect for him when he activates his dominance over me at a time when I am not expecting it or wanting it at all.

When he comes home he is usually full of energy, and often throws me over a pile of pillows, bottom high, for a firm spanking. He feels that I must be reminded first and often who is boss. He takes particular joy in whipping my most sensitive inner thighs, and sometimes my tender pussy. Even while punishing me, he reminds me often that I am fulfilling my deeper self by submitting to him. It gives me great pleasure to turn over my physical body to him, to do with what he will. And at times when the pain is most difficult to bear, I can hear his whisper that I must turn my self over to the pain, to invite it in. To submit to him.

During the evening I serve him dinner. Sometimes I sit on the floor by him while he eats, and feel his fingers occasionally reach down to caress my hair. Later I tend to his needs. Sometimes a massage, or just resting together and listening to music.

After he has rested, I am often called to serve him sexually. Sometimes he will allow me to pleasure him with my mouth, forcing himself into my mouth, and fucking me hard until I am in tears and can hardly breathe. He holds my hair tightly, and often whips me while I pleasure him. He loves to hear me scream and moan onto his cock. Of course I continue no matter what he does to me.

His greatest pleasure though, is in teaching me the finer arts of submission. He is my teacher and guides me to each next step. Sometimes he will tie me so that I cannot fight and struggle - but just suffer and turn over to the pain - and occasional pleasure. (I’m only allowed pleasure when connected to pain). And other times he enjoys seeing me struggle and try to escape pain, while I can only feel his hard cool arm holding me loosely in place.

And then again, sometimes he will not hold me at all - forcing me to control myself. He wants me to gain a greater control over my sexuality, my childish and selfish need to have pleasure. So, he is teaching me to control my orgasms, and to not move or strain toward or away from either pleasure or pain. He will place me in position sometimes on all fours on the bed, legs spread. Open. I will receive alternately a stripe of the belt, or a teasing touch on my clitoris. He will not allow me to move in either case - and punishes me severely if I do. One common punishment is that I am not allowed to come for as long as a week, even though he will bring me close daily. Other times, he will whip me mercilessly - and force me beyond my current limits.