10)
She constantly uses "I was checking for poison"
as an excuse when she scarfs half of your coke at Burger King.
9)
By the time she finishes her elaborate serving ceremony
and gives you your drink you have already lost consciousness and
are in need of medical attention for dehydration.
8)
She compares you to those fantasy pics of Gorean warriors
that you find online, then laughs and calls you "Master big
sword".
7)
Having her depreciate in value to the point where you can
only get 3 chickens for her instead of the 2 pigs and a fox pelt
you originally paid.
6)
When the tavern dance she does starts to look an awful
lot like The Macarena.
5)
The "this is my slut fuck-whole slave who isn't
worthy of having a name" introduction always gets family
dinners with your parents off to a bad start.
4)
"Spanker's Elbow" isn't covered by your health
insurance plan.
3)
Confusion and constant "A girl? What girl are you
talking about?" questions when she starts talks about
herself in third person.
2)
She insists that she only truly feels enslaved when you
take control of the home by washing the dishes, doing laundry,
and scrubbing the toilets.
1)
Having sex with her anywhere and anytime you want has led
to 4 warrants for indecent exposure, and 3 for lewd behavior in
a public place. The courts are still mulling over the "can
a true slave be raped" issue.
~~~
Copyright 2004
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