website: http://wmdifferentstrokes.com 

listserv: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/wmds 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OK, so you have a group either underway or set to roll-out, a new website, etc. But how can you foster lifestyle dialogue amongst your members - or potential members? This differs from publishing news items and asking for feedback, party schedules, asking for suggestions on how best to run the group - here, it's attempting to meet the needs of your group members for how they feel inside, what questions or thoughts they have about being part of this movement. Here are some ideas for discussion that groups in this region have done:

a) Chat room topic: Some groups like to have a theme, for either a special chat night, or during a regularly scheduled session. It's not always easy to stay on the topic, though - it may not be applicable to all who are there, and very often chatters are content to get caught up on each other's lives (the kids, what about the party at so-and-so's last week, how's the job search coming along). Still, many find that it can spark interest.

b) Social parties with a theme: Even if your group does not want to host play parties, a social party offers people to sit in a living room and be able to speak freely (in a way that isn't possible in a public place). These conversations are more personal (one-on-one) and are usually more civil than an on-line dialogue can sometimes be. After being in one of these sessions, people find out about their fellow group members - and can often become closer, as a result.

c) Adding it to one's regular munch/soirée, etc: - As part of one's recurring public gathering, having a theme for discussion (in addition to general discussion) can be useful. A lot depends upon your attendance - if one gets several newcomers, you may find it more advantageous to find out more about them, and you may find that the "Usual Suspect" attendees aren't motivated by certain topics. Even so, it can't hurt to have a topic that you've advertised to your members in advance.

d) Special Munches/gatherings: Some groups have special munches, devoted either to special subjects (say, example, 24/7 relationships) or to more generalized themes. For example, at least one group I am aware of has a special group simply for submissives, which meets from time-to-time. Another idea is a munch for women only - it may be an incentive for solo women concerned about venturing out in public.

e) Having a list of resources: No matter your station in life, you as a group manager can't be expected to know everything about the Scene (and mercifully, most group members do not expect you to). But you would be well served by maintaining a list of resources of interest groups (perhaps even having links on your website) that you can direct people to. Some examples:
Gorean interest groups, the New England Dommes group, pony play, etc. One should be cautious, of course, when directing friends to these sites. Still, most people view website information with more than a grain of salt - they are nonetheless glad for the suggestions. Also, alert people to class/seminars/panel discussions taking place in your region.

While much of what you do as a group leader/assistant, etc., will fall into the mundane category - here, you have a chance to assist people and couples on their road to BDSM self-fulfillment. You do this already, just by "being there" for them - just being empathetic to their desires counts for more than you might imagine. But by being willing to "go that extra mile," you can ensure your group's success for some time to come, which can help make sure that the problem does not get out of hand.